The Actual Problem

I found out with my oldest pretty quickly that little kids have BIG emotions. All my boys tend to go zero to 100 on any and everything. They are very high energy kids. This is a good thing in my eyes but it’s something that has to be taught how to cope with.

With my second son I found that after a big fall, a rough catch, or unexpected jostle, he would get really upset. Screaming that he was hurt, unconsolably for upwards of 20 minutes sometimes. I would (admittedly not in a calm manner) try to get him to tell me what was hurt. It would just upset him more and prolong the meltdown.

Game changed

I don’t remember what it was that triggered me to ask it the first time, but after begging him to tell me what was actually hurt and where, I asked him “are you hurt or scared” CLICK. “I’m scared” he scream cried at me. BREAKTHROUGH. I scooped him up, told him over and over he was safe and it’s ok to be scared. Within 60 seconds tears were done, face was wiped, hugs and kisses were given and he was off playing again… It was a game changer.

2 years later it’s now the regular go to at our house when someone is crying “hurt”. Before we panic about where the injury is and how to solve it… lets make sure we know what the actual problem even is… It’s ok to be scared, but asking what hurts when that’s not the actual problem and the kid doesn’t have words for the problem other than “ow” or “that hurt”… That’s so counter intuitive.

I don’t know if it will help any other high emotion moms out there, but hopefully it may!